IPL Season III has begun and already I have become a couch potato. Every evening, I return from office anticipating a game of epic proportions. Every game in this cricket extravaganza is interesting as each team brings a different flavor. No, I did not mean the suaveness of Bangalore, the killer instinct of Mumbai or the sheer talent of Delhi. What I meant was that each IPL team is reminiscent of a popular Hollywood/Bollywood/Kollywood movie (read as super hero) to me and it makes me feel like Superman taking on Rajinikanth in one match and Jason Bourne taking on James Bond in another. OK, I think I confused you a lot… Let me put more insight to my thought process. Let us take Mumbai Indians first: We have two renowned assassins (read as cricketers) at the top of the order. Two people who have more than twenty years of experience in the trade they specialize in. They have completed with aplomb many an assassination (cricket matches) and any fool would know that their trophy cabinet is full (pun intended). However, when it comes to IPL; both of them have forgotten that they need to kill ruthlessly (hit the ball out of the park). Now, we have two Jason Bourne in MI ranks who need to be told what they are primed for. While the little master is showing encouraging signs of remembering Medusa and Blackbriar; the Matara mauler is still all at sea like the Jason Bourne in Marseilles. Now, let us shift our focus to Kings XI Punjab which has an uncanny resemblance to the Oceans XI outfit (Including the name). We have eleven hunks wearing designer suits (jerseys) and glares plotting the perfect robbery (IPL trophy). Their planning leaves much to be desired but you just know in your instinct that these eleven hunks are going to get the goods. However, they falter just before the final coup (semi finals of IPL I). In the sequel (IPL 2); you do see a subtle shift of focus from Danny Ocean (Yuvraj) to Rusty Ryan (Sangakkara). There is even a woman involved in the scheme of things. It can’t get much worse for the twelve and it sinks to the bottom at the box office (IPL 2 points table). The third edition of this franchise has now begun with a distinct change at the top. We now know for sure that Rusty (Sangakkara) has taken the baton from Danny Ocean (Yuvaraj). The initial reports are not encouraging for the XI. However, we need to wait and watch to see how far these suave XI goes. Let us now profile the usual suspects from the Far East. It is not difficult to guess that this team has all the usual suspects (including the owner) when it comes to controversy. Their captain, the prince of Kolkata has all the Keatonsque powers. So, in the second season; when the stripping of his captaincy coincided with the emergence of FIP; we thought he was Keyser Soze. Later, we realized that there was many a Verbal Flint in this team. The usual suspects have started well in the third edition and they have kept a low profile as well. We just need to see if this is a deliberate ploy to come up with the mother of all controversies. Heading south, we have the super stars (read as super kings) of IPL. Like Rajinikanth; they don’t believe in strategy, planning etc. Just like Rajinikanth can bash any baddies in multiples of ten; our super stars can chase any target in multiples of hundred. In fact, our team of super stars doesn’t even need a bowling unit. We have at the top of the order a Maaveeran who just needs a tooth pick (read as Mongoose bat) to launch any balls in orbit. At one down is the left handed Dhalapathi (who has taken charge after an injury to the captain) who can take up any challenge. The middle order is bolstered by the calming influence of Siva and Mannan. (Guess for yourself). The Maapilai of entire India; the captain comes next in the batting order followed by the firepower of Bassha and Padayappa. This is the team to beat this season. In the wild west of India; we have the royals (Antonym: criminals) fighting for the “The longest yard”. Just like Crewe the ex-quarterback; we have Warne from Down Under putting up a team of mis-fits (India rejects) and criminals (Unheard names even in domestic cricket). The team had a fairy tale longest yard run in the first edition. However, the second edition brought them right down and they finished in the bottom half of the points table. We just need to see if the new criminals can gel with the old mis-fits and criminals to regain the longest yard. Up north; we have the Double-O-Sevens from Delhi constantly decimating the opposition. The top four all have Double O badges; i.e. license to kill (thrill). Somehow the kingpin; the man with the white cat; Ernst Stavro Bloomfield (IPL Trophy) always managed to escape literally through their hands in the first two seasons. Hopefully; the Double-O-Sevens will come up with a better strategy and back up plans to capture the kingpin this time around. One word of caution is that just like the James Bond franchise; the daredevils also need to get their support act together in order to achieve the final summit. People said that Dr. Mallya’s Royal Challengers were the grand dad’s test team impersonating as a 20-20 outfit. Dr Mallya the man with the bling; would have definitely seen several diamonds (supermen) in the charcoal (Clark Kents). However, in the first season; the Clark Kents did not even know about the power they possessed and were beaten to submission. The staging of the second battle (IPL II) in far away Planet Krypton (South Africa) meant that the Royal Challengers always had home advantage as there were lots of Kryptonians (South Africans) in the team. However, the evil conspirator Lex Luthor had tied a kryptonite on their bodies and Royal Challengers were beaten royally in the first four games. Enter the support cast of Jimmy Olsen (Ray Jennings) who removes the kryptonite and instills enough confidence in superman to reach the final battle which they eventually lose. We need to wait and see which Avatar they will take in Season III. If the first week results are anything to go by; it is superman all the way. DC; the reigning champion of IPL is all set to defend their title at home turf this year. We do remember the titans (chargers) very well from Season I. Just like “Remember the Titans”; the chargers also had a racial overtone in their game. Andrew Symonds, whose racial shenanigans are well documented, forms one of the pillars of the Chargers team. In the first season; the team was lead by a home grown white (telugu) player in VVS. After a lackluster performance; the management decided to hand over the reins of the team to a black (Australian) Captain Coone (Gilchrist). He asks the former white (telugu) skipper to join him in the DC think tank which our VVS obliges. Captain Coone (Gilchrist) takes his wards to the civil war battle ground of Gettysburg (Table Mountain in Cape Town) and renders a stirring speech. The chargers become super charged and they go on to win the safari edition of IPL.
After giving the team profiles in detail; I guess you all know why I am excited to watch each and every match. If you ask me where I have put my chips; it is surely in the desi army. No firang super hero can match the power of Sultan the warrior.
